An Introduction to Divorce

Understanding and surviving the process—a warning for the faint at heart

Decisions, decisions...

Deciding whether or not to get divorced is one of the most difficult decisions one can make—and the results of such a decision can be life-altering. Fortunately or unfortunately, our society has embraced divorce as a normal everyday occurrence to the extent that half of all marriages now end in divorce. Its effects on individuals, families, and particularly children are enormous.

Do not jump before you look carefully into the unknown

While the grass may seem greener on the other side of the road, it is important to keep in mind that life without a long-term relationship that seems to be going nowhere may be better than the alternative. Whether your spouse has been untrue to you, you have fallen in love with another, you just cannot seem to get along anymore, your lives have gone in different directions, or any of the other million reasons couples dissolve their marriages, divorce should be your last resort.

The process of divorce is a lose-lose proposition for all involved

What do I mean by lose-lose? Well, clearly, when couples seek to terminate their marriage, the most obvious loss is that of the marriage. A relationship that was entered into at a time when both of you were looking at life, and presumably each other, through rose–colored glasses. A time when your love, interests, and goals were presumably the same, or enough alike that one or both of you thought that you could change your partner's personality to suit your needs. (This is often a mistake.) You may have seen marriage as one giant step toward a lifetime of fulfilling experiences, trials, and growth.

Consider and try all possible alternatives

Now, possibly years later, the sparkle has left. Perhaps one or the other of you has lost patience with the idiosyncrasies and habits of the other. Maybe your career path has taken a diametrically different direction. Your children may have grown and you suddenly see that the traditional roles you and your spouse have lived are no longer fulfilling. You may feel cheated, abused, ignored, bored and/or at your wit's end. To be serious, for most of us the tarnish of years has resulted in a loss of that glimmer that we once had. If there appears to be no choice—if you have tried everything, including counseling, looking into your inner soul, and changing your expectations to revive, protect, fix, or work things out with your spouse without success—you probably do need a divorce. If I have not convinced you to rethink your decision and give it another try, then I unhappily suggest you read on.

Surviving the divorce process requires you do all in your power to lose the least, emotionally, physically, and financially

What can you do to survive the divorce process when the last straw has broken the matrimonial camel’s back and the decision to divorce has been—unhappily or happily—made? That is what I attempt to help you do in this web page and that is what we strive to do for our clients in our practice. At The Law Offices of Nye & Associates, Ltd., we hope to give you assistance through all of the decisions and options you may be faced with during an Illinois divorce. Our law firm provides you with enough information so that you lose the least when your divorce is finalized. If you have but a smidgen of understanding of what your rights and obligations are when undertaking the prosecution or defense of a divorce, then I have done my job and, perhaps, you will be better off as a result—at least I hope so.

Helping families and the professionals who serve them

With offices in Buffalo Grove and Chicago, The Law Offices of Nye & Associates, Ltd. are ideally situated to assist family law and mental health and human services clients throughout Cook, Lake, DuPage, and McHenry counties. Reach out to our law firm at (847) 279-0026 or fill in our online form to discuss your legal situation with a seasoned Illinois family law lawyer.